Take a gentle breath and settle in as you read. Allow yourself a moment of kindness.
Have you ever caught yourself stuck in judgment, turning a passing judgment into a story built on little evidence? This often becomes self-criticism. If you relate, you’re not alone; everyone faces judgment and self-criticism. Noticing this creates room for kindness to yourself and others. To explore this further, let’s clarify a key distinction: judgment and discernment are different. While judgment can be learned, so can more effective coping skills. For instance, a negative thought may just distract you from what you’re doing, signalling fear or discomfort. Here, judgment may just be an attempt to protect you. We can thank it and move on, or we can identify with it. it. But a thought is just a thought, not your identity. Recognizing this makes it easier to discern rather than judge.
The words “judgment” and “discernment” may seem similar yet differ in crucial ways. Judgment forms an opinion, often with a critical, emotionally charged tone that feels final—like, “That person is rude for not saying hello.” Discernment perceives things objectively, identifying details free from emotional attachment, e.g., “They didn’t say hello; maybe they’re distracted.” Judgment involves emotional, critical conclusions, while discernment is based on neutral observations.
Discernment is the ability to see facts as they are; judgment adds feelings and narratives. Think of discernment as a clear window and judgment as stained glass that colours your view. This distinction gives a practical guide for handling situations. With this, let’s address judgment in practical terms.
Instead of judging yourself for judging, gently inquire into why it happens. How you respond shapes the outcome. Engaging with judgment only leads to more of it, while choosing discernment and compassion promotes growth. Consciousness is the ability to identify our thoughts. Recognizing that “judgment is here” opens a process to changing it. Curiosity about our judgment facilitates openness towards ourselves and the skill to discern. The key takeaway: moving from emotional judgment to objective discernment enables recovery and insight. Gentle Self-inquiry with an attitude of curiosity connects the divide between recognizing judgment and choosing a kinder response. Next, I’ll outline a simple self-inquiry practice to support this shift.
Here is a simple step-by-step self-inquiry to use whenever you notice judgment arising:
1. Pause and bring awareness to the judging thought without trying to push it away or get entangled in it. Accept that it is there. Ask yourself, “Can I feel my breath?” as a way to centre.
2. Gently ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” Notice any emotions, sensations, or tension in your body. Is there a feeling tone to the judgment?
3. Invite curiosity: “Where might this judgment be coming from? Is this familiar? Have I felt this before? Is there a fear, need, or hurt seeking attention?”
4. Meet whatever arises with kindness, allowing yourself to feel it without criticism.
5. Ask, “What would compassion look like right now? How would my body feel if shown care?”
These steps shift how you respond to judgment, building awareness and compassion. Over time, you may react less, respond more curiously, and show more patience to yourself and others. Notice and celebrate these signs of growth.
May you be kind to yourself
May you find yourself relaxed and steady
May you accept yourself as you are. Love, Mamaji_/\_